Reverb10: Party!

Today’s #Reverb10 prompt is,

Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid) (Author: Leo Babauta)

The People’s Republic of Rhythm…presents Colombia was by far the most fun I’ve had this last year; not just at the party itself, but in the months leading up to it, while planning, organizing and even cooking up the name, together with 5 absolute rockstars who offered up so much good juju, my cup overflowed with it!

The photos can be found here, and the stories will live on for years. Mayhem, drama (the good kind), friendships and even a near-disaster when someone proposed (and a wise soul promptly pulled out the veto card) the name “dancers without borders”…haha. Ok, I admit it, it was me, but for the record, I was joking.

#reverb10

Join Me

What’s appropriate?

The idea of “appropriate” is dying, it’s going away with the baby boomers, who by rebelling against the establishment had to, by design, acknowledge that etiquette existed and that they had a relationship with it. For those who came later and get to benefit from those rebellions, it’s become like an old relic. Some of us learn about it and how to work with it, like putting on a costume when you go to the Shakespeare festival. We put it on when talking to people older than us. But we don’t buy into it, nor do we see a place for it.

It doesn’t mean we don’t follow any kind of rules, but increasingly we revert to rules rooted in and closely relating to values. Such as a simple rule that asks the question, “is it kind?” Or insert whatever value is most important to you. The archaic rules -that seem to be there for reasons none of us understand or connect with- are dying. And the logic (if there ever was any) that came with them is dying too.

I’m not sorry about it, as I’m sure many are. I’m actually glad that we’re coming closer to source. Because I think it’s harder to explain why we are supposed to use some arbitrary fork when eating our salad, than it is to simply teach someone to behave in a way that is kind. Because I’ve sadly known many people who eat with the right fork, but would sell their granny if they thought they’d get a good price for her. And I’d much rather eat at the table with someone who makes a mess of their food, than someone who makes a mess of our world.

What’s your relationship to the idea of “appropriateness” and etiquette?

You’re Welcome + De Nada

I have a new job. It’s a good one.

I am grateful for the confluence of things that made it possible, not the least of which is my own hard work. But there are many others to thank and be grateful for. Making it all happen has taken up a large part of the last few months, which explains my brief hiatus from blogging. My return to writing has been cause for some rumination, and maybe some pressure (on myself) about starting the new year [new decade, new job] right.

This morning it finally hit me, as I found myself receiving a most sincere expression of gratitude from someone who, like me, lives in a fully bilingual world of Spanish and English:

DanceThis year may have started off being about gratitude, but it’s the grace in receiving where the crux lies.

I found myself struggling to respond, as I thought about the essential difference between ‘you’re welcome‘ versus ‘de nada‘. ‘De nada’ means literally ‘for nothing’ but the intention, while generally used just as ‘you’re welcome‘ is used in English, is really more of a downplaying, an expression of humility. In Spanish there is this dance we dance, this protocol of expressing humility in the face of flattery or gratitude. It is admittedly sometimes a feigned humility, but the sentiment is nonetheless there, and the expression ‘de nada‘ truly embodies that dance. It really begged the question, what does the bold, straightforward ‘you’re welcome‘ say about the English language, and it’s cultures of origin? In contrast to ‘de nada‘, it feels almost arrogant, as if assuming that the thank you is something more than just a polite expression, as if affirming that the person expressing thanks has reason be thankful. And yet taken more literally, there is beauty in an affirmation of being welcome, warmth in telling someone they are welcome. Don’t we all ultimately want to be welcome?

Simple words, so much culture embedded, so much intention to glean from language. So much that goes into receiving even simple things, like gratitude.

Bottom line, this morning I concluded I want to acknowledge my own desire to be welcome by giving what I want to receive (YOU’RE WELCOME), but I want humility too, and to dance (DE NADA).

So in 2010 I will choose both: You’re Welcome+De Nada.

What is language for multilinguals?

Ok, so, what is language? As this is a deeply esoteric question, one that far more skilled folks can and have given us insight into (some pasted below for your consumption), I will skip the science. (you’re welcome)

A few great talks on language:

Instead, I’ll focus on my experience on the subject, and then make the narcissistic leap of logic that this experience is shared by everyone, or at least, multilinguals.

CuencaMy first language was Spanish, a confluence of the Ecuadorian and Colombian flavors, which is in itself a bit of a challenge. Culturally there are substantive differences between these, and for a little girl the struggle to understand why the paternal grandmother should be addressed in the formal “usted” and the maternal should always be addressed in the more casual “tu,” was an exercise in linguistic agility. The first of many to come.

MY EXPERIENCE

My second language was English, a language that will forever be associated with school, work and a sense of “otherness” that I have become fluent in, but remain distinctly apart from.

What this means practically, is that when I stub my toe or get cut-off by someone in traffic, the colorful words that come to me are most often, Spanish ones. The same is true for those moments in life when I am communicating deep pain or sorrow, or confessing my fears or doubts. Spanish, for me, is the language of soulfulness and primitivity. It’s the emotional language that I learned, in those early years of life when being emotional was allowed. It’s the linguistic fetal position that brings comfort and sanity when everything else fails.

English is the language of structure and learning, and in my adult life, the language of business. Ask me to tell you my assessment of the viability of a business plan or the results of my latest P&L analysis…in Spanish…and prepare to see a lot of hemming and hawing. My career has developed entirely outside my country of origin, and while I can quote you Neruda and tell you about the beautiful movie I experienced last week, entirely in fluent Spanish; my business vocabulary exists entirely in English. You could argue of course that this is purely about experience, a year working in Latin America would give me a crash course in the latest and greatest Spanish business-speak, right? While I know this to be true, the reality is, learning and experiencing are two vastly different things.

I can learn business-speak in Spanish, but my experience was built in English. My creativity and confidence in the domain of business was built on a foundation of English language ideas, on uniquely US-based values and logic.

Likewise, because I live in the US now, I can (and have) learned the language of emotions and relationships in English. But my first exposure to that world, my experience of all things emotional, came from a world where only Spanish was allowed.

WHERE LANGUAGE LIVES

So the languages we speak become worlds unto themselves; worlds with associations based on our experiences. Whichever world those experiences developed first, in earnest, is where they will forever live and feel at home. What this means is that we can visit and be skillful in those other worlds (linguistic agility), just like I can and regularly do visit the world of emotions in English, but the natural and comfortable home for my emotions will always be in the world of Spanish.

What does this say about telling your story to multilinguals? What does it say about branding and marketing to hispanics in the US (or for that matter any other cultural group)?

In my view it fuels the argument of many analysts before me, who have already touted the importance of learning the specific nuances of every group you’re trying to speak to. Puerto Ricans in New York are a different audience than Mexicans in Los Angeles or Cubans in Miami. Within those groups you can probably find even more distinct groups (by age, income, education), each with a story and unique experience.

Ok that’s fair, and painfully obvious, especially when you think about what a failure in this arena can cost. As recently as the 2005 US presidential election, control of the white house was the price paid by the party that failed to employ this strategy in their marketing efforts.

LINGUISTIC AGILITY

The other dimension that is critical here is the one of linguistic agility, and being cognizant of what world people’s various experiences live in. Are you targeting a population that is 3rd generation and barely conversant in the language of their ancestors? Or are you targeting folks who, like me, might have certain aspects of their lives (emotions, family, health) firmly rooted in their non-English language world, despite their English fluency?

This goes beyond just knowing your audience. This is about knowing what story you are trying to tell and which world that story belongs in. In Hispanic families, health is a family affair, and even if your target audience is a 2nd generation, fully fluent English speaker, if you want her to consider your alternative treatment for her newly diagnosed breast cancer, you’d be well served to tell her your story in both the language she’s been educated in (English) and the language that she’ll be talking to her family in (Spanish).

Bottom line, language is inextricably tied to culture and emotions. What emotions are most closely tied to your product or campaign? Are you speaking to your audience in the language of that emotion? Or are you asking your customers to communicate with you in a language that distances you from their world?