First Contact with a Legendary Artist – Adrienne Kennedy

Living in LA, drinking from the dot-com fire hose in Seattle at the turn of the century and now re-establishing myself in Manhattan, I’ve crossed paths with some amazing people and have to admit to rarely experiencing the feeling of being star-struck. All the ‘playing cool‘ we’re taught eventually sticks and I think, unlike the eye-crossing that our mothers said would stay that way, this one really keeps. Play it cool long enough and you’ll end up playing it cool all through life.

But there’s nothing like a swift kick in the pants by gut-wrenching, exquisite art, to remind you of that sense of wonder and excitement that we pushed away with all our coolness. And nothing like a brilliant artist telling it to you like it is, to leave you speechless.

I am grateful to have had such a moment last month, as I read a play called “the Owl Answers” by Adrienne Kennedy. In doing my research on Kennedy I was struck by the details of her life story, the ones beyond the biographical texts, the ingredients of power and strength that come from a life well lived that exist between the lines. I was determined to speak to her and capture some sense of the artist herself; the personality behind the epic stories that were weaving themselves into my nightly dreams.

I had that chance last month, and I was star struck.

She explained that she’d recently turned 80 and spoke to me directly, mincing no words and expecting the same in return. I experienced a woman with both confidence and grace and above all, an inquisitive mind. She asked questions and she was bold, curious and demanding of good, well thought answers. I imagined her teaching at the various prestigious places she’s taught and I could see her being the rare combination of demanding and yet insightful instructors who at once leave you feeling humbled and massively changed.

She spoke of living in Italy after her time in Africa in the 60′s, alone with her first son and pregnant with her second. She generously shared the feeling of being with a man who treated her like a goddess but at the same time elicited in her the sense of being caged. She spoke of her collaborations with artists like John Lennon and legendary personalities such as Joseph Papp with equal pleasure as her collaboration with her son, who very early in life said they should do something together. She asked me to keep in touch.

How many people say that? How many people ask you how you’re doing without any sincere interest in listening? These are expressions, they’ve come to mean little.

And yet for this living legend, it was the truth. Since that first conversation we’ve interacted a number of times and, by her request, I’ve been sharing with her insights into the work we’ve been doing with her piece.

If nothing else of interest happens in my time at Columbia diving into the world of theatre, it will have been worth it. Experiencing first hand what a life of cultivated wonder and curiosity looks and sounds like is a prize like none other, and I’ll be forever grateful for the chance to have a dialog with someone who truly lives life saying what she means (and meaning what she says).

Calling it (AKA, ¡Que dices Obama!)

Dear Obama,

Thanks for the email from El Paso, but the immigration “issue” is not about Google, Russian nor Scottish immigrants, neither are your record-breaking deportation numbers.

The immigration issue is about immigrants with brown skin or last names like mine.

Let’s rise above the noise and call a spade a spade, shall we?

Etiquette, dead or alive?

Yesterday I attended a workshop called Influencing the Headlines in Silicon Valley with the rather fabulous people at NewsCertified Exchange, I could (and may) write ten different pieces on the experience, but for now I’ll start with something I was pretty intrigued to learn existed.

In my struggle to explain what I do concisely, I sometimes simply say “I help people do business abroad,” which more than one person has assumed meant etiquette training. I’m always amused by that reaction because it tends to result in the telling of some comedy of errors that the person either lived through or witnessed when traveling. Reliably fun (at someone else’s expense, good times).

Then of course comes the disappointment of explaining that, in fact, no, I don’t teach etiquette and sadly – given many of my experiences with people in big business – I don’t think anyone does anymore.

Or so I thought. Yesterday I met a business owner (in business for 17 years) who teaches what she calls “Advanced Etiquette,” have a look at Syndi Seid on CBS News.

Woah…how fabulously retro is that? Or is it?

On the flight back last night I got to thinking of Syndi and her business; debating with myself about how relevant something like etiquette really is these days. The term came into fashion during the Victorian age, a time and set of values that I confess I regard with about as much respect as foot binding. Yeah, not so much.

But then a few hours later as I walked my pup to the nearby dog park, I think I’ve decided I’m a believer.

You see, at the dog park we all follow a long list of unwritten rules, whether it’s carefully entering the park through the double doors (always keeping one closed to avoid escapes), gently removing the enthusiastic cocker spaniel from whatever it happens to be mounting or politely pointing out when someone missed a poop that need scooping…we follow dog park etiquette. And as a result, we all get to live notably less smelly, chaotic and more peaceful dog park experiences. Yay us.

Until someone doesn’t.

We had one of those moments today, when a newbie thought he was being polite by holding the inner gates open as someone with three dogs was entering through the exterior gate. He couldn’t figure out why everyone around him suddenly stopped, and the guy he was being ‘polite’ to retreated and frantically closed the exterior gate, with one dog inside and the other two outside. It was momentary chaos, I swear I think all the dogs in the park went silent. The poor guy  got some good glares, a couple audible sighs and lastly, the newbie was told to “close the gate! You’re not supposed to open both, that’s why we have them!”

So he  quickly closed it, the barking resumed and the moment of collective panic ended. I’m pretty sure his dog filed his tail between his legs in embarrassment. Then they both quietly scurried away, as if they’d just been voted off the island.

The thing is, just like any non-dog owner reading this post, I doubt the poor guy left with a clear understanding of the gross breach of etiquette, which means he’s likely to do it again or maybe he’ll change doggy parks to avoid further shame.

Doesn’t seem like a great way to learn rules (and yes, I concede, doggy folks can be a little dramatic)…and it leaves me thinking that we have just as many rules as the crazy Victorians did, they’re just different now. Furthermore, I suspect there is just as much room in the world for a few rocking etiquette coaches, they just need to be different now too.

I wonder if Syndi’s down with dog parks?

Missed opportunities and impatience

Michaela MurphyMy friend Michaela Murphy, a world-class storyteller and brilliant creative talent in the space of audience engagement, told me once about her “aha” moment about social media and the internet. After struggling with the technology aspect for many years, she had a breakthrough one day when it hit her that this was all just another stage, and that the secrets behind engaging people online are no different from the ones for engaging an audience when you’re on stage.

I keep going back to Michaela’s moment when I see people making painful (and costly) mistakes. And this is not to make anyone look bad (in fact, go see this play if you’re in NYC!) but instead to remind us all that it’s never good to get caught with your pants down, online or off.

I was (and am still) very excited to learn through the Hedgebrook network that this brilliant play’s run in NYC has been extended through June, especially as my April calendar is already bursting at the seams. But upon heading straight to the ticketing website I found that I can’t actually buy tickets :-(

A brick and mortar art Gallery owner wouldn’t think of posting signs about an opening today if she didn’t have something ready to show this evening, right? We’re so busy preparing for the bad stuff, we sometimes forget to prepare for the best case scenario. In this case, everything worked as you’d hope…great news breaks, people spread the word and an excited theater-goer wants nothing more than to go buy herself some tickets! But she can’t.

Which leads me to another important reminder that more or less negates everything above. If you’re good enough, people (like me) will wait for you to get your storefront ready. Which of course means, if you’re doing good work, your mistakes will be forgiven (and perhaps used to spread the word farther). Even impatient people like me.

the “thing”

“in this world of short attention spans and celebrities, everyone is focused on what this celebrity thinks about ‘the thing’, or what that famous person said about ‘the thing’, but no one is actually going into what ‘the THING’ actually is” -Alia Thabit

Upon hearing these words from my highly quotable and wise friend, Alia, I remembered a headline from last year, when the Dalai Lama said, at a Peace Summit in Vancouver, “The world will be saved by the western woman.”

Wow, ok. How?

I’m not suggesting that the Dalai Lama should know, just wondering why the headlines (and yes, the little letters below them) aren’t talking about how. In general, not just on this subject, why do Alia’s words about the glaring absence of the “thing” ring so true? Are we interested? Do we have the attention span to talk about what a statement like the Dalai Lama’s might inspire, or what real and tangible efforts are already underway (there are plenty)? Or have we become headline surfers and speed readers, happily moving on, now that we are assured about what the very famous and uniquely iconic Dalai Lama has proclaimed?

Phew, I for one am relieved to know we’ll be saved, and even happier to know I’m in some way part of the saving.

But where are the in-depth articles and evening news pieces on how? Could it be the how just isn’t as sexy? Or is it that the how is tactical and deep into the weeds of our daily reality, the plastic cups our take-out just arrived in and the SUV we decided was absolutely necessary when we had kids (even though most of us grew up just fine bursting out of the seams of some little death-trap-sedan without car seats -horror!).

What’s so scary/intimidating/boring/hard about the ‘thing’?

Ethical dilemma? What ethical dilemma?

I JUST read this forehead-slapper from Nicholas Kristof of the NY Times,

“In my column today, I note that I discouraged a senior Libyan military officer from going public with his defection until he had hidden his family: http://nyti.ms/ghdxBJ That no doubt raised eyebrows in journalistic circles; our basic obligation is to get the story, and in the end I didn’t get the story. On the other hand, his wife and kids are still alive. So I’m curious: what do you make of that ethical dilemma?”

While I understand that this is a way of effectively killing two birds with one stone (acknowledge the established norm in a field while at the same time defying it), and it was probably more geared towards journalists who are more likely to commiserate or even disagree on principle, I can’t help but draw a parallel to all industries.

How many of our closely guarded social norms have gone unchecked for too long? Whether you’re a banker completely disconnected from the downstream impact of your big-ticket decisions, or a scientist so mired in a mechanistic view of the world that you miss how your work changes lives and the environment…are those ‘ethical dilemma’s’ real? Is it really that challenging to remember our humanity, regardless of our trade? Or are these ‘dilemma’s’ in fact, the bi-product of long unchecked and long outdated rules of etiquette that carry about as much substance as whether you’re wearing white after labor day?

I’m going to take a wild guess and say Kristof didn’t lose any sleep over this decision. There is a lot more in this story worth losing sleep over and as a regular reader of his work, I’d say he’s pretty clear about being human first, reporter second. But I wonder if we can say the same about our bankers, politicians, CEO’s and scientists?

In the words of the prescient and all around fabulous Noreena Hertz,

“For the sake of our health, our wealth and our collective security, it’s imperative that we keep the independent decision-making parts of our brains switched on.”

She’s inviting us to encourage dissent, get our rebel boots on and start walking the walk. Shall we?

Reverb10: Letter to my future self

The #Reverb10 prompt I’m writing from today is:

Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Author: Jenny Blake)

…………..

This month’s issue of Gentlemen’s Quarterly profiles the Man of the Year. In the same cover our not-so-enlightened friends also grace us with the Babe of the year. What a sad and not-so-subtle reflection of the state of women today around the world (there are more slaves today than were seized from Africa in four centuries) and yes, here in the US. According to US Immigration Customs Enforcement, 17,000 young women and girls  are forced to work in the sex industry by organized criminals each year.

Men are men, women are babes. It’s a tired old story, getting worse in the telling and even more so in the doing.

Also this month, gossip writer from the New York Daily News, Joanna Sloame, gives us this tidbit,

“It’s a time-honored tradition in Hollywood for older men to date younger women, and cougar couples have become all the rage as well.”

Again, men are men, women are cougars.

So while there is nothing new here (GQ is no pioneer here in the treatment of women on the covers of supermarket magazines, and Joanna is hardly breaking new ground with her use of cougar), it does bring me to my future self, and the advice I’d give myself for the coming year…

Remember when Awilda said to you, “there are stories that can kill you” ?

Stress kills. And stories heal or stress. If you believe you’re not enough, if you believe you can’t do it, you’re never going to get there, you’re less than or too much…you are living inside your stories. And believing these could ultimately kill your spirit, if not your body.

If we believe these stories, we will never be anything more than the objects they attempt to turn us into. Though we may never rid the world of misogyny, nor erase violence against women, we CAN tell our stories. We CAN flood the airwaves -and the hearts of our children- with other kinds of stories, stories that come from true experiences and refute the possibility of ‘babes’ drowning in seas of ‘honored gentlemen’. We can tell stories that revive our spirits even when other stories try to kill them. We can never stop people from trying, but we can overwhelm them with our own efforts, we can flood this place with stories that heal and if enough of us do it, we can dilute the toxins that would do otherwise.

So flood it! Flood this river and make sure the life vest you’re wearing holds those around you that may need a hand at swimming.

#reverb10

Join Me

Joining #Reverb10

Last year I joined Gwen Bell in her Best of 2009 Blog Challenge (#best09) , where she encouraged online creators, through daily prompts, to dive into the past year and reflect on it to understand ourselves. Last year was the first year of the challenge. Around a thousand people participated (online), including me, and yes, it was an absolute blast. So I’m doing it again, and this time she’s in great company and it’s called Reverb 10!

In the words of the Reverb team,

“Reverb 10 (#reverb10) is now an annual event, an inspired response to (and evolution of) #best09. It’s an open online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead.”

So here goes, the first prompt is: One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

2010: Cleanse

Because in many ways, 2010 was about realizing what really matters, and letting go of anything and everything that didn’t!

2011: YES

I realized that I was going into a place of “Yes” thanks to a fabulous prompt by my friend, brilliant performance artist and creative rain-maker, Christa Bell, who teaches women to reconnect with their bodies to create a new spiritual tradition. That day I wrote,

I need to be free to create, to dance, to move with my tribe, lead when leading calls and be led when following gives peace and we, warm rest. Freedom to grimace in pain, to roll around the ground and get dirty, to bend and adapt, to mold reality and question. I need to be taught and to teach. I’m good at saying no, no. It’s time for saying yes. Yes. Say Yes, this is your fantasy dance. Dance to Yes, dance just for the Yes of it. Dance in the dark when no one is looking, and in broad daylight when all eyes are on you, looking at you for answers, for strategy, for vision and guidance. Give them your answer, take a deep breath and tell everyone, the answer is Yes.

#reverb10

Join Me

#best09 Best Article 2009

What’s an article that you read that blew you away?

This is what happens after two very unusually long and taxing days at work…total mind fart. I know only a handful of people who drown their friends with more articles than I do, but right this moment, I am at a loss. So I will cover the one that I spoke about most recently. I get together every month at the full moon with a phenomenal group of wise women…and last night we got into this “thing” that’s in the air, this kind of shift towards a more female oriented paradigm, which prompted a conversation about business and capitalism in general. In came Noreena Hertz and “co-op capitalism”…I tend to agree that there is definitely something in the air, and it smells LOVELY!



Listening to Africa

This has been a month of a very specific brand of inspiration, the African & female kind to be precise. So I’ve decided to share the wealth and start a conversation!

It started last month with a Ted Talk by Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Adichie about the misconceptions and dangers that come from a want of diversity in stories. Shortly after this I had an opportunity to meet the Pulitzer prize winning journalist, Nicholas Kristof at a World Affairs Council talk on women in developing nations, part of his and Sheryl Wudunn’s “Half the Sky” movement. I attended the talk with another accomplished activist (and photographer), Phil Borges, who kindly agreed to speak at an event I am organizing this Thursday on the subject of Women Empowered.

At the same time that these events unfolded around me, back at the ranch (Lionbridge) I have had the serendipitous privilege of contributing as my team worked diligently on an initiative that will support Microsoft with its mission to bring the benefits of technology to people worldwide. Through the Unlimited Potential program, which is charged with cultivating their next billion customers, Microsoft is contributing to the preservation of local languages and cultures. Something this Global Misfit can enthusiastically connect with!

In a lovely confluence of themes and worthy causes, last Friday the two accomplished women on our team heading up the collaboration with Microsoft’s Local Language Program (LLP) embarked on a long flight to represent us at the LLP Africa summit (press release). Inspiration is everywhere, including right under my nose!

I can’t help but feel elated to be a part of the increasingly important process of creating the diverse stories of the African experience that are needed in order to contribute to the empowerment of its diverse peoples. Moreover, I am thrilled to be so close to the forefront of the much overdue influx of business capital and creative entrepreneurship that I wholeheartedly believe can (if managed ethically) ultimately make a substantive and sustainable difference where so many generations of global aid have failed. Here are a couple interesting talks by prominent African personalities on the subject:

In the spirit of Chimamanda Adichie’s call for moving away from the single story, I invite you to share your African story. Whether you’ve lived there your whole life or only traveled to Africa as a tourist, I would love to get your insight! In return, I will do my best to represent those stories and hope that you will check back in the next week as I share the experiences of the Lionbridge team in South Africa upon their return.

In the meantime I’ll be here soaking it all up vicariously and dreaming of South Africa!

Here are a few more relevant links that I think are worth a look (and yes, I am an official Ted addict…please no interventions yet!):