I have a new job. It’s a good one.
I am grateful for the confluence of things that made it possible, not the least of which is my own hard work. But there are many others to thank and be grateful for. Making it all happen has taken up a large part of the last few months, which explains my brief hiatus from blogging. My return to writing has been cause for some rumination, and maybe some pressure (on myself) about starting the new year [new decade, new job] right.
This morning it finally hit me, as I found myself receiving a most sincere expression of gratitude from someone who, like me, lives in a fully bilingual world of Spanish and English:
This year may have started off being about gratitude, but it’s the grace in receiving where the crux lies.
I found myself struggling to respond, as I thought about the essential difference between ‘you’re welcome‘ versus ‘de nada‘. ‘De nada’ means literally ‘for nothing’ but the intention, while generally used just as ‘you’re welcome‘ is used in English, is really more of a downplaying, an expression of humility. In Spanish there is this dance we dance, this protocol of expressing humility in the face of flattery or gratitude. It is admittedly sometimes a feigned humility, but the sentiment is nonetheless there, and the expression ‘de nada‘ truly embodies that dance. It really begged the question, what does the bold, straightforward ‘you’re welcome‘ say about the English language, and it’s cultures of origin? In contrast to ‘de nada‘, it feels almost arrogant, as if assuming that the thank you is something more than just a polite expression, as if affirming that the person expressing thanks has reason be thankful. And yet taken more literally, there is beauty in an affirmation of being welcome, warmth in telling someone they are welcome. Don’t we all ultimately want to be welcome?
Simple words, so much culture embedded, so much intention to glean from language. So much that goes into receiving even simple things, like gratitude.
Bottom line, this morning I concluded I want to acknowledge my own desire to be welcome by giving what I want to receive (YOU’RE WELCOME), but I want humility too, and to dance (DE NADA).
So in 2010 I will choose both: You’re Welcome+De Nada.
I’m so glad you had this thought. Being such strong women doesn’t often allow (in our minds) this reception of gratitude. It seems, as you say, ‘almost arrogant’ to receive. I’ve actually had to train myself over the years to accept thanks graciously. As has been stated by my Southern-belle grandmother, “it’s rude to refuse such a simple gift.”